Obedient Enough

Inside the unspoken rules of belonging, and what I learned about the cutthroat Icelandic rental market

Hello there

As this Substack journey of mine unfolds and I begin to write with more intent, I’ve come to realize that I’m probably writing a book that is like a deeper, more personal version of my Little Book of the Icelanders.

Since I wrote LBI back in 2010 I have grown a whole lot as a person, and as a writer. I approach the subject of the Icelanders differently now—with a tad more gravitas, perhaps, and a lot more insight. In the interim I went back to university and studied the history and folklore of the Icelandic people (and wrote several more books on the subject), which wound up giving me so much more context for and understanding of my people.

Writing now about my move back to this country and the bumps I encountered as a young(ish) person trying to fit in is a lot more meaningful to me now than it was back then. I am still learning about the nature of the Icelanders, and know that I will never completely fit in—but I’m fine with that now. After all, writing about this country and society from the privileged perspective of being both an outsider and an insider has given me a thriving career, and much joy.

Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Anyway. These more personal pieces will be paywalled, for practical reasons. If you can afford a subscription and want to follow along, please do—I welcome your comments and input. If not, no worries, there will most likely be a book at some point.

Plus, I will always have something for my free subscribers, as well.

So, last week I wrote about the first big setback I encountered on moving back to Iceland, and the forces that enveloped me.

Today: what happened next.

The landlady … was one of those indefatigable women of Icelandic stock whose husbands were, or had been, at sea. They had a no-nonsense way of moving through life that came from being left alone to raise a brood of children and manage households for long periods while their husbands were away. These women were strong, independent, hard-nosed and resourceful. They white-knuckled it through life, demanded full obedience from their children, and frequently lacked compassion—probably because kindness might be perceived as weakness, and weakness was not an option when everything had to be held together.

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